time for change

Change is hard, but change is good

Change is hard. Change sucks. Billy Madison’s transition to high school proves it (see video at end of this post).

I’ve seen that clip it seems like a thousand times and it still brings a big smile to my face. It’s the stupid things like this we, fortunately, have in our lives to take our minds off the important things that stress us out.

My wife and I have endured quite a bit of change, and we’ve always persevered. We’ve known each other for more than 11 years now and have been married the last two. Every step of our relationship has been lined with challenges that we have had to overcome.

When I met Gabrielle she was only 17 going on 18. I was almost six years older. We were at very different stages of our lives. She was just starting college. I was working full time. I was ready for a committed relationship. She was not.

We dated for a while, and being with her made me happy. She made me feel comfortable and relaxed. During that time in my life, I didn’t like myself most days. I was depressed. Something was missing. It was someone like Gabrielle.

She made me feel good about myself. She brought me confidence and calm. Sometimes she made me feel flawless.

The way she listened intently and understood made me open up to her in a way I have never to anyone else before. I hate talking. I hate talking about myself more. But I liked talking to her.

But the timing wasn’t right. She was headed in one direction, me in another. She was young, and still trying to find herself. She wanted experiences that I couldn’t give her.

I was focused on her. She was focused on many other things.

We remained friends and spent a lot of time together. We just couldn’t be more at that point. That was hard for me. I know it was hard for her, too, because she knew it was hard for me.

Our relationship changed forever the day I moved away for a new job. Leaving her and our friendship saddened me, but I knew that it was the best decision for me at that point. I was looking forward to my new work and new surroundings. I figured we’d drift apart like most friends do.

But I missed her. And I couldn’t stop missing her.

She missed me, too.

We both grew and matured during our years apart. We visited every once in a while. Though we were far apart physically we grew closer. We realized what each of us meant to the other.

We loved each other very much. We still do. We always will.

True, change can be hard. But change is also necessary. As much as I don’t like it, I’m glad our life together changes as often as it does. It means we’re progressing. It means our love is growing. It means our bond is stronger.

Another change is around the corner. We’ll be parents soon. It will be hard, but it will make us better.